Mariners looking to Mullen as Seattle Savior
With Jack Zduriencik fired by the Seattle Mariners on Thursday, speculation abounds about who is in the running to take over the dream job (if you're from the Pacific Northwest, that is a dream!)
Unnamed sources, deep within the ownership of retired Nintendo chairman Hiroshi Yamauchi, team CEO Howard Lincoln, chairman emeritus John Ellis and team president Kevin Mather say they are zeroing in on Jeff Mullen as the lead candidate to take over the General Manager position.
Mullen is no stranger to the area. Seattle native, former Chicago tech giant (truly the Man of Michigan Ave.), and Seattle Preparatory School all-state second baseman while bringing the Panthers to the State Championship game in 1991. Mullen went on to become a Willamette University Bearcat. He played under Hall of Famer Dave Wong for two years. Mullen, though undrafted, finished his playing career at Shoreline College. Mullen received his Bachelors Degree in English from the University of Washington.
Other sources say, that if Seattle does indeed hire Mullen, Mullen would probably bring in the first Major League female coach in history. Shana Mullen, 38 year old Yakima-loving American, noted physical therapist, and according to an unnamed source, a newly engaged bride to be would be the new General Manager's first hire. Jeff Mullen, a stalwart defense first coach and self proclaimed "glove man", could really open up a new dimension on offense with his sister Shana patrolling the hit machine that the Mariners want to be. Of course, this could lead to offensive upgrades in the terms of more players whom have hit well at Safeco Field. To join this team eager for a leader and with the turmoil in the Big Apple - well you heard it hear first: if Mullen is indeed hired as General Manager, he will move mountains, divert rivers, eradicate the fire danger in Central Washington, and make his peace with the Seattle Police Department (ok, let's be reasonable here), in order to bring in Alex Rodriguez! Mullen says "Notre Dame has Football Jesus for college football, the Mariners need pro baseball's Juicing Jesus, starting with his apostle Rodriguez."
Mullen, through his law office and Agent Rob Smith said "No Comment". But local union boss and Radio King of Seattle, Edward T. Martin said "Bring Jeff Mullen in! He's got soul! He's got an incredible knowledge of '90's hip-hop, he can sing a mean karaoke (Kiss by Prince), eat his fill of clams at Ivar's and if we continue to lose Jeff's a blues man!" No one gets out of Seattle baseball without singing the blues!
reporting from Oakland, California
TIM MALLOY
Other sources say, that if Seattle does indeed hire Mullen, Mullen would probably bring in the first Major League female coach in history. Shana Mullen, 38 year old Yakima-loving American, noted physical therapist, and according to an unnamed source, a newly engaged bride to be would be the new General Manager's first hire. Jeff Mullen, a stalwart defense first coach and self proclaimed "glove man", could really open up a new dimension on offense with his sister Shana patrolling the hit machine that the Mariners want to be. Of course, this could lead to offensive upgrades in the terms of more players whom have hit well at Safeco Field. To join this team eager for a leader and with the turmoil in the Big Apple - well you heard it hear first: if Mullen is indeed hired as General Manager, he will move mountains, divert rivers, eradicate the fire danger in Central Washington, and make his peace with the Seattle Police Department (ok, let's be reasonable here), in order to bring in Alex Rodriguez! Mullen says "Notre Dame has Football Jesus for college football, the Mariners need pro baseball's Juicing Jesus, starting with his apostle Rodriguez."
Mullen, through his law office and Agent Rob Smith said "No Comment". But local union boss and Radio King of Seattle, Edward T. Martin said "Bring Jeff Mullen in! He's got soul! He's got an incredible knowledge of '90's hip-hop, he can sing a mean karaoke (Kiss by Prince), eat his fill of clams at Ivar's and if we continue to lose Jeff's a blues man!" No one gets out of Seattle baseball without singing the blues!
reporting from Oakland, California
TIM MALLOY
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